Dad, share your life with me

My purpose in blogging is to pass on to my children some of the family history, and to give them insight into what makes me the person I am. Having written that, I'm embarrassed and I owe an apology to Melissa for the following admission.... Back when Melissa graduated (this is how awful this is. I don't remember if it was her high school or college graduation), I bought a small spiral-bound booklet called "Dad, share your life with me...." For each day of the year, it asks the author to reveal a bit about himself. For example, on the February 14 page it says "Tell about a special valentine you once received." For April 10 it asks the writer to "Relate a favorite spring memory." Most prompts relate to that particular season or time of year, although some are simply unique, such as the June 2 entry, which asks "what was the funniest name or nickname in your town?" Now I thought that completing this book for Melissa would be a special gift that would give her an insight into my childhood and my personality. I am not a demonstrative person and so sharing some of my childhood memories I thought would be a great gift! Sadly and embarrassingly, at least 8 years later I still have not completed that book. Forgive me, Melissa! I will still complete this and hopefully you will find it enlightening. It may be somewhat repetitive as that was the original purpose behind my starting this Web log, and I've written about 30 of these in the past year. Some of these entries were no harder than jotting down facts, like January 1 -- "What was your day and date of birth?" Or January 6 and 7 entries asked for my mother's and father's full names. Piece o' cake. The early pages went on to ask more questions about the Stoltz family and what Mom and Dad did for a living. Who meted out the punishment? That's not hard. Pretty black and white. But the questions got harder, and a bit more painful. Some were poignant and plain thoughtful. Such as the January 23 entry requested, "Tell about the naughtiest thing you ever did. If you got caught, describe the consequences." My response, and one of the greatest regrets of my life, was this: "I took part in teasing a girl in our class who was 'mentally-challenged.' We were mean to her and I've never regretted any action so much in my life. She died at a young age and I regret never having had the chance to apologize and ask for forgiveness." Others were easily answered. January 27: "Did you ever have an imaginary friend?" My answer: "No." Some stirred distant memories. January 30: "Tell about the worst winter storm that you can remember as a child." That was the winter of 1968-69 when we were buried in so much snow that we could not get out our front door. A pathway was shoveled to the side door and we came and went through that. We missed weeks of school at a time because of the heavy snow and drifting, and I still remember each night looking out the front window toward the highway to see if the tree branches were blowing. Because if they were moving, we probably wouldn't have school the next day. Of course, there were questions about those people who touched my life... nicknames... favorite childhood meal... that "first crush"...church activities... favorite songs... bands... that first job. Through the years I've answered many of the questions. But some just defy a written answer. Either I don't have a memorable snippet or I just plain don't remember or it's not applicable. Melissa, you'll find some of the answers interesting and others just plain dull. Personally, I don't ever remember a mouse in the house (October 11) or a bat in the house (October 12). Later in life? Oh yes, the stories we all could tell about the bats who infiltrated the Alexandria Herald building. But growing up? No. No mice. Not bats, although I remember Roger finding an injured bat in the bed of marigolds. And mice? Uh uh. Mom would have none of that. Thankfully I don't have a memorable quip for the October 15 question: "Do you have a good school pants-wetting story?" Later on in that year, the questions turn toward my relationship with your mother and how it started, and then the questions were about you -- your "birth day" and your growing years. The questions for November and December concentrate logically on Thanksgiving and Christmas memories. And so, Melissa, your book has traveled with me from town to town -- from Canistota to Montrose to Sioux Falls to Hartford. And then just before Barb and I left in November for Tennessee, I considered whether to give the book to you (unfinished) or try to answer more of the questions. And I hate to ask this, Melissa, but do you mind if I hold on to it a bit longer? I think there's more good "blog material" in here. Certainly there's memories, and that's what this blog has been about. It's quite "me-centered," but I wanted to pass on to you -- my children -- all the things I've never mentioned or talked about. It will help you better understand who I am -- what made me the person I am today. And -- in the end -- I hope it was worth the wait.